Sorry I haven’t been posting very much lately, either been busy, enjoying my free time off, but I’m also missing D 😦
It won’t be long until I see him again but I swear the long distance between us is making us feel even worse over time when we’re not together.
Some days I just feel like crying, especially when we FaceTime each other because the WiFi connection is just terrible. Do you know how hard it is to lipread over frozen calls? When we’re together we talk about anything and everything, and to go back home from that to hardly ever speaking to each other… it really hurts. People always say, can’t you just text each other? It’s not the same… I want to see his face, I want to see his smile, I want to hear his voice. Even when we do text, we can’t always think of anything to talk about, which sucks!
The distance does break my heart, and I can’t tell you how painful the goodbyes are. It feels like someone is ripping my heart out and my eyes feel like they’re burning from all the crying. It’s like someone’s not letting me see him again, sometimes it feels like he’s gone forever. The last time we said goodbye, it hurt that much that I don’t think I could deal with it again. I texted my mum and D and said I might consider moving up there, just to be with him as I can’t bear to say goodbye again. Only thing is I’ve got my apprenticeship, he’s got college and we both can’t afford a place to live… so I guess I’ve got to put up with it for now. But someday I will, and I can’t wait to get a single ticket and not have to return home!
Some nights, I just lay in my bed just wishing I could be next to him… but instead, waiting for a text message as he takes forever to reply! But that might just be me being impatient… The other day, D sent me a message that he was feeling ‘down’ because he missed me. Moments like that, I’d do anything just to give him a hug.
People don’t understand how difficult long distance relationships are, but add ‘deaf’ into the equation, it makes it a whole lot harder. I am lucky in a way I guess, because some couples live overseas from each other, others have partners in the Army, and my heart goes out to them as I can imagine how hard it must be.
I was listening to Vanessa Carlton’s song, ‘A Thousand Miles’… and it got me thinking about him, and was the inspiration behind this post… “Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles, If I could just see you tonight”
I must admit, writing this post did make me cry, but I wanted to share my feelings with you guys about what it’s like being in a long distance relationship with a deaf boyfriend. The distance may be our enemy, but our love is stronger and together we can beat it!
I’d love to hear your thoughts and personal stories!
Love E x